Monday, July 16, 2007
Just shove the needle in my a** already
This never ending issue of steroids in sports has been shoved down my throat now for at least the last 2 years. Every major news network runs almost hourly stories on it and ESPN is running this nonsense like a stock ticker. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with the media reporting the news, even if it is as insignificant as say, a Paris Hilton story. But there is one huge difference between the steroids “scandal” and the Hilton joke; people care about the Hilton story. Every network ran, not only the story of her prison sentence, arrest, release, re-arrest, re-release, and mother-daughter hug; but also editorials on the internal debate to run those stories at all. The fact is they HAD to run this garbage. Why? Because we CARED. Why? I have no idea. All I know is that everyone I know was talking about it, and not just women and the gay community. On the golf course you hear “What do you think of the Paris arrest?” and at the gym “Do you think they over did it with the sentence?”. Everybody cared. There is no rhyme or reason to it, we just all love a train wreck, and this was it. The problem with the steroids thing is this: NOBODY CARES. Have you watched a major league game recently? The stadiums are packed. TV ratings are not just up, but WAY up. Barry Bonds was voted a starter by the fans in the All-Star game. While the media keeps gagging us on this steroid nonsense, we are busy changing the channel to watch Lindsay Lohan drive into trees. If these player want to keep sticking a needle in their arm and watch their heads blow up to the size of watermelons and their balls looking like M & M’s (the plain ones, cause those peanut ones are huge. Have you noticed that? When did they get so big?), fine. I don’t care. Just keep hitting balls out of the park, and I’ll keep watching and buying tickets. But to all those media outlets that want to keep running this crap the fact that I could care less won’t stop them. But eventually this will: No one else cares either.
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13 comments:
Mr Meloy:
There is a reason that you have been fed the steroid stories and the Hilton-esque extravaganzas for so long: People do care. You said it yourself: "Have you watched a major league game recently? The stadiums are packed. TV ratings are not just up, but WAY up. Barry Bonds was voted a starter by the fans in the All-Star game."
But let us address your two points (steroids and Paris Hilton) separately. Firstly, I am reasonably sure that the steroid using baseball player uses steroids for one major reason: It allows them to hit more homeruns more frequently (and consequently win more games with higher stats). The added strength is something to be desired in the game. And, of course, there may be a personal, aesthetic motive involved as well. This addition to players' capacity for homerun hitting lends itself to large ticket sales, because, let's face it, baseball would be boring without homeruns. So, now that you've got your increase in homeruns, you have your increase in ticket sales.
But why does the media so strongly broadcast the steroids issue? True, it's sexy and scandalous, but there may be a deeper issue at hand. Perhaps the sports media is not attempting to cram these steroids stories down our throats because we necessarily like the use of steroids, but because the sports media is attempting to illuminate a the much graver issue: ethical degredation in sports. The reason the media is allowing so much steroids nonsense on its airwaves is not because the media thinks that's what the public wants to hear, but because the media knows that this is what the public needs to hear. The public needs to be aware of what it is valuing most in its sports, and take a step back and look in the mirror. Do we want a sports team to be centered around just a few players who have the ability to knock ball after ball after the park? Because, even though baseball is most exciting at the crack of the bat, the public doesn't go to a game to watch a homerun rally. Unfortunately, it seems that this perspective is what the public lusts for the most. We should depend on our media and listen to what it has to say: Steroids are prevalent. Steroids are destructive. How did we come to this point?
The media's and public's response to steroid usage also provides an answer to your Paris Hilton quandary. To begin, Paris Hilton--intended or not--represents all that is hedonistic, self-involved and apathetic in our society. So, it doesn't seem to be a surprise to me that all were aghast with her latest...situation. We were all impatiently waiting to see how--this may be a little too much to hope for--an infallibe, self-aware entity that is our legal system would react to Paris' violation. The legal system, far removed from the nonsense that is popular culture, was given the chance to judge a person that represented this very culture. And its reaction? No pardons. No ease. It was jail time for Paris. The reason everyone was so consumed with the sentence was because it was a judgement for our society. It provided the public with an opportunity to do the very thing that the sports media wants us to do: look in the mirror. Imagine the outcry if Paris had been pardoned. So how did you react to the sentence? Did you turn away? Or did you and those you know take the time to reflect on how the American judicial system was reacting to our Parisian society?
Regardless, what will stop the media from broadcasting what you deem filth will be the vox populi. And 1. if enough people agree that steroids should be eliminated from baseball, 2. steroids will be eliminated from baseball, and 3. the media will stop broadcasting about steroids in baseball. But one thing is for sure, it seems that people care--maybe for the wrong reasons--all too much. When it is time for a change we will start caring about different things. Here's hoping.
I think what you have to understand is WE don't choose what media outlets decide to broadcast. WE just happen to watch these channels. There's nothing we can do about the fact that ESPN wants to ramble on about steroids all day whether we care or not. They are all about filling time and let's be honest, the Worldwide leader blows damn near everything out of proportion! They stick to the same stories for at least one week straight because they have to get everyone who works for them to come on Sportscenter or Around the Horn and voice an opinion on the matter. It's far easier for ESPN to run the same stories over and over and over again, than it is for them to be a little creative and shed light on other sports stories that are worth mentioning. As far as the Paris Hilton thing, it's not that WE cared, it's that the media cared so it was the only damn thing they would show. Most of us did not turn to CNN to watch Paris Hilton cry in court and etc, but that's what CNN felt like talking about. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether WE care or not, they are going to run the stories that they want to run. Don't assume that just because WE watch the coverage waiting until they decide to change stories albeit briefly, that we care. WE don't. That is why a lot of sports fans have turned to blogs and lesser known outlets to get their sports fix. Bloggers know when a story is overdone and we move on quickly.
Coco:
For the sake of brevity I have only three or four sentences in response to your comment, and I am in the mood for some rhetorics.
Do you not think that if the populace truly did not care for an issue they would be willing to change the channel (like yourself) and find other outlets for their news?
And if people all over the country changed the channel because they were bored with an issue (say, Paris Hilton), would not a particular channel lose viewers and lose ratings?
Because their channel was losing ratings, do you not think that said channel would then change the topics they were covering in order to regain control of viewership?
So, we can conclude, although you may have not enjoyed the steroids and Paris scandals, it is clear that we (meaning the majority of people) were still interested enough that the various media outlets were still making profits and gaining viewers.
Alas...we seem to have full control of what is presented to us, because, as you know, we can always change the channel. Here's hoping.
Seeder, when I'm watching Sportscenter, I'm trying to catch up on scores and see highlights. I know within the broadcast they are going to reference one or more stories that I care absolutely nothing about while I'm watching. This is something I have to deal with since I choose to get my sports highlights from ESPN because let's face it they have all of the sports on lock. They are in bed in some way shape or form with MLB, NBA, and NFL. Like it or not (most times I don't) Sportscenter is where I go to get my sports fix. And as far as the news. I don't watch much news, but I know that if I have to choose between CNN or FOX it's CNN all the way. Yes, I probably could have turned to Fox and gotten coverage of something else, but I will never know because I will never waste my time watching Fox news. It's just one of those things I guess. ESPN is not going to lose ratings as long as they cover all of the sports and CNN and other news outlets aren't going to lose ratings either. The news is a necessary evil and people will always watch it. And, as far as the Paris thing, they even talked about it on ESPN and she has nothing to do with sports. My basic point is that you can flip the channel all you want and still hear about a story that you care nothing about.
There is one easy solution to all the complaints I hear from people hearing too much about one thing and not enough about what's more important. You're not required to pay attention to CNN or Fox News or MSNBC. No one is forcing these networks upon you. You're capable of turning off the TV or just not listening if it's on the radio at work. I'm aware that mainstream media's overarching pervasiveness is hard to escape, but because of our unlimited access to mediums like the internet, it's now possible to draw people's attention to what you think IS important. If Paris Hilton gets you down, why even talk about it?
I don't disagree with any point that you've made, but I dispute the relevancy of your comparison. It might seem like people care more about Paris Hilton than anything, but it may just be the shock value of her story that causes viewers to talk about it even more. I call it prosthetic sympathy. People really DON'T care, but it seems like they do only because the media focuses on it.
I call on you, the viewer, to become your own media. Steer your attention towards (and even write about) what's more important than Paris Hilton, which is pretty much anything.
Here's a question for ya.... what's been going on in the "real world" during the media's blitzkrieg reporting of such hugely important stories as the steroid/Hilton/Lohan scandals?
Here's another; Who now owns and/or controls access to the majority of US shipping ports?
Or, how about CAFTA -what?
What's the real cause of the so-called "sub-prime market" crash?
smoke screen anyone?
Come on Mr. Meloy, there's so much more to see ......
I vivdly remember the day Paris Hilton was ordered back to jail. It was an oppresively hot, hungover laden morning for me and as i sat in front of the tube flipping through channels the girl laying next to me had me pause on the fox news channel, possibly my least favorite channel on tv; reality tv shows are no delight of mine like beer, pizza and good video games, i prefer the colbert report and watching bill o'reilly make a fool out of himself, but i rested the remote next to me and obscurely paid attention to Paris Hilton's escapade. After only a few minutes of breathtakingly dull footage i became transfixed upon an event that was anything but transfixing. To be more precise, i was transfixed upon the reporting of Paris's case. Bemused was i to have a reporter tell me how interesting and "transfixing" this event was as expert after expert cameo-ed upon the television. I felt like i was watching a comedy. In my case it wasnt that i cared about Paris Hilton, instead i was intrigued by the height to which sleazy reporting reached that day. One expert went so far as to say the genie got out of her bottle. What more can i say?
In a world overcome with crystal-meth and drive-by shootings, war and racial-profiling, AIDS and WMD's, it's shocking that people care about Paris Hilton or steroids.
When you really think about it, wouldn't you think the world would be a better place if you never even knew who Paris Hilton was? WHY DO WE KNOW WHO SHE IS? She's a nobody. She's a nobody that broke the law and went to jail.
And "One night in Paris" was the absolute worst porno I have ever seen... proof that she's good for NOTHING.
Steroids in baseball... I sure hope I don't lose sleep over that scandal.
Wait... WHY IS THAT A SCANDAL? Who cares? Seriously.
The morning news dedicates about 20 seconds to the story of the child that was killed in a drive-by shooting, while talking for over 5 minutes about Paris Hilton crying because she has to go to jail.
Why do I watch the news? you may be asking yourself.
Because there was a toothpaste recall and I want to make sure I'm not rubbing poison into my gums before I go brush my teeth.
Or we could all look at the conspiracy point of view. The steroids, Paris, Lindsay, Nicole, Brittney... all of it just a big government conspiracy to take the focus off the war and the crop-circles.
Remember when Tom Cruise jumped on a couch?
Life was so much simpler in those days...
This whole steroid thing could be quashed if all of the major sports organizations would just grow the testicular fortitude that their players are losing and make steroid use mandatory. Wouldn’t sitting in the stands at a baseball game be more fun with the added risk of foul ball ripping off little Timmy baseballglove’s hand when he tries to catch it? Or think about how hilarious it’d be to see batters wielding ridiculously oversized bats like something out of Looney Tunes. Wouldn’t it be great to watch soccer goalies fly through the net when they try to block a ball and see kickers flex and rip their shirts off like the Hulk instead of doing that stupid shirt over the face thing? And think about how long that guy could say “goal” if he shot a little juice into his vocal chords. Wouldn’t tennis be cooler if, well no I guess tennis would still suck, but you get the point. And think of all the fights! All the players would be so full of testosterone that the slightest little mishap would set them off. I’m not talking about the pansy slap and shove matches that we see nowadays; I’m talking head’s getting punched clear off and people getting beaten with their own limbs. This might pose a threat to coaches, refs, and other members of society but I’m sure they can come up with some sort of shock collar policy.
I’m sure some of you are probably thinking about crap like the athletes’ basic human rights, but what about the fans’ rights? It’s the money that we spend on, tickets, refreshments, foam fingers, hats, jerseys, trading cards, posters, bumper stickers, bobble-heads and athlete-endorsed sneakers, beverages, fast food chains, cologne, deodorant and underwear that lets them live such comfortable lives.
Don’t you think it’s a little selfish for athletes to say “Sure, I’ll let you buy me a giant house, a luxury car, plastic surgery for my wife, and ridiculously expensive drinks whenever we go out on the town, but I think I’ll pass on giving you the maximum amount of entertainment, because there’s a small chance that my testicles might become nonfunctional or my liver might fail or I might get a heart attack.”
Well I think it’s time for all of the hypocrisies to end. Mandatory steroid use for all athletes means that the fans get what they paid for.
I've had enough of hearing the people who have had enough of hearing about Lindsay Lohan. By the way to help you empathize with the rest of this post feel free to stick in your own favorite drunk, drug addled, sex addicted, coitus adverse, broken hearted, bankrupt, anti-Semitic, socially awkward, depressed or just generally fucking insane star here.
And yes I realize the very existence of this blog post contributes to the problem, which makes the irony of this particular musing touch you about as gently as an Invisible Pedophile in the Magic Kingdom®©™.
(Yeah I did it. I put pedophile and Magic Kingdom in the same sentence. But before you judge me, talk to anyone who has had to deal with Mouseallinis branding department. They will understand the sweet sweet vindication I feel at this moment. And to add insult to injury, I'm registering it with a trademark and a copy right.)
Fed on a steady diet of sarcasm by the baby boomers, there's little surprise that Generation X, Y, Next and M joyfully wallow in cynicism like a hippopotamus in mud. Since we are the ones finally coming into power in business, politics and the media this snarky jaded outlook on the world is no longer kids being sullen kids, this is becoming the norm.
Or is it the technology? Should we blame being inundated with the exploits of twit stars and the people that bitch about them incessantly on the attitude of a generation, or rather the channels that enable the bitch stream? Since anyone with an opposable thumb can be a publisher on the intertubes and the average American has more TV channels than brain cells, is it any wonder that the inevitable content draught is satiated with whatever pabulum spews forth from these commentators of misery. You know like this blog.
From this point on, I am going to hold to the same advice I have given people for years when they chastise me for listening to Howard Stern. If you don't like it, turn it off, which is exactly what I will do the next time I read or hear the words, "I'm really sick of hearing about…"
governmentcheese@hushmail.com
Tivo.
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