Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Is this really what we have come to?
It is just 2 days following the horrific events of Mondays Virginia Tech events, and it seems we have already moved on. This morning the headlines on yahoo.com had to do with tax extensions and presidential candidates, with hardly a mention of our troubled shooter, Cho Seung-Hui, and the tragedy. Perhaps, as we delve deeper into his life, we are afraid of what we will find. Stories of teachers pulling him from class and directing him to counseling after some admittedly deranged writing, the fact that he had few friends and signed his name with a question mark, and the ever present query as to why a man wanting to take his own life felt compelled to take so many others with him. It seems so incomprehensible, but is it really? The English major wrote of mothers with chainsaws and step-fathers killing step-sons, and an overwhelming desire by students to kill a teacher in his plays. This is shocking? If you were a teacher, and a student had turned in “Pulp Fiction” as a homework assignment, what would you think? Would you run to a counselor to get a young Mr. Tarantino help, or pay $10 bucks to go see the movie? Last weekend, “300”, a movie based a Frank Miller graphic novel, passed the $200 million mark in the US and has grossed over $400 million worldwide, despite some of the more deranged killings ever seen on screen. Did we miss the “warning signs”? And this is just the start. Every weekend features a new horror movie with more torture to “push the limits”, with lines, usually made up of, say, 18-24 year old males, stretching around the block to buy tickets. Are we really shocked that a 22 year old college student would write this way? No. We will hear those that will sadly state that they should have said something, or could have done more to help. He obviously had some serious issues which called for professional help. We know that now. But could we have admitted that beforehand? How could we sit through and be entertained by a movie like “Hostel”, which features clients paying upwards of $25,000 to torture and kill Americans with chainsaws for sport, and then question Mr. Seung-Hui’s writings that feature similar themes? These may just be movies, but they all started in someone’s mind, and that someone in now holding millions of our dollars for having “entertained” us. And is the fact that he was a loner bothersome? Living in a age of severely diminished social skills, where are best friends are Sanjaya and Jack Bauer, and Friday night is spent huddled over a laptop with an oversized cup of coffee, why are we surprised? The fact is, we’re not. There is no way to forsee this happening, especially when the line is so blurred. All the “warning signs” show us is that we can’t tell anymore the difference between a brilliant director or a serial killer, an incredibly creative mind or a student on the edge. If we really want to notice the warning signs, we have to change the way we are entertained, the way we look at art and creativity. Perhaps the recent events in Virginia will do that, but it is unlikely. This, for a while, may change the way we look at others, the way we look for warning signs. But for real change, we need to change the way we look……..in the mirror.
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4 comments:
I hear you loud and clear on blaming the media for all the ills of the world, particularly as it relates to our troubled youth. But, you simply cannot lay all the blame on our immediate access to any type of distorted content so readily available on a worldwide basis on the internet, TV, radio and the movies.
The REAL problem lies within the family life and parental teaching and care. Political correctness is what has gotten out of hand today. We prolifically proclaim "free speech" and personal freedoms in America, yet parents can go to jail and have their children taken away from them for administering more than a "time-out" for punishment. Like this is hardly going to work. It may be a part of parental supervision, but it is NOT going to teach kids the discipline and values they need to grow up exhibiting integrity and responsibility. Now, don't misinterpret me, and react that abused children should not be protected. That is not what I am saying!!! Truly abused kids SHOULD be protected legally since they are not able to protect themselves. I had spankings and - yes, even got paddlings with a heavy wooden board with holes and a smiley face painted on it (long before the smiley face became an icon) by my school principal. When I misbehaved, I was punished by my parents and instructed what the lesson to be learned was. If I didn't comply, then the level of punishment increased until I learned my lesson. Today, I am a highly responsible professional. I have high ethics, honesty, and integrity, BUT I don't go around beating, maiming, shooting, or burning those with whom I disagree, as the courts would have us believe. (Can you believe a mom who spanks her tantrum-throwing child on the fanny getting tossed in jail??!!) From all my punishment, I didn't learn that physical retaliation was the answer to my problems with others. I learned to talk openly and to try to find a mutually acceptable solution. However, for those unfortunates - especially those who grew up in a single-family household and whose parent or guardian HAD to be out of the home working to support the most basic of needs - the lack of parental guidance is the real culprit for angry, aggressive, and dangerously harmful individuals. These same kids go to school and act out; yet, they cannot be properly disciplined there either. However, for their entire formative years these same unruly kids are told that they are "bad." Now what do you think a child is going to grow up being if all they ever heard is that they are bad? You got it, B-A-D! And too many of us adults are not willing to step up and offer out compassion to helping mentor, guide, and teach these troubled youth about acceptable behavior. There are a few programs, both locally and nationally, that address such issues, but certainly not enough. We Americans have become TOO complacent to societal ills and pass problems off as someone else's responsibility. This is unacceptable, because these same do-nothing successful adults are the very first to complain and lay blame. THESE KIDS NEED OUR HELP. It is not always that their parents are necessarily bad or irresponsible - although some are. But stop and think a moment, this is actually a generational problem passed down from one parent to their child and from that child/parent down to their child all that they know – improper parenting skills. So, don't go blaming the media for these problems. True, they must have to have some negative teaching impact on these impressionable young minds, but if this is your stance, you are, in fact, once again passing the blame and responsibility to someone else to help correct the real problem. In my opinion, by the time these raging, killing youth reach the age where they begin exhibiting dangerous and frequently fatal actions....it is too d**n late. I hope you will take time to seriously consider what I have shared and introspectively consider what YOU can do to help vs. just blaming everyone else.
I've heard all the excuses. Parents don't keep an eye on their kids, and get them help when they need it. The news is too violent, too provacative and is causing the world to be bad. Video games kids play want to make them go out and shoot real people with real guns. And sure, perhaps all of this may have a slight influence on what kind of violence kids create in this world. However, when it comes right down to it, people have the right to choose. Even kids, who some adults think don't understand, are the ultimate decision makers in their own fate.
So a kid grows up in the ghetto, joins a gang, then gets shot and killed at the age of 18. While most would blame the environment, they don't realize that for that one kid, another kid in the ghetto grew up, went to college, and became a lawyer. Circumstance, to a certain extent, can INFLUENCE decisions, even with kids. But you can't say that all these kids are victims of circumstance. The Virginia Tech shooter, the guys from Columbine, and even the terrorists that attacked our country on September 11, 2001 all came from different environments, and from different backgrounds. None of these killers were victims of their culture, their diseases, or their circumstances in life. They all have one thing in common: when faced with the choice, they CHOSE to kill. And most of these guys are pretty strong-willed. So maybe the news media does blow it out of proportion sometimes. And perhaps those video games really did make them wonder what it was like to shoot a real gun. In situations like this, everyone wants to play the blame game, and blame everyone but the person who did it. Sure, it's hard to blame soemone who's dead, because they can't answer your questions, but they are at fault here. Not the news, not the video games or music, and not the parents. Circumstances can only take a person so far, and then they have to make a choice. Some choose wisely. Others, like the Virginia Tech shooter, make a conscious decision to perpetuate evil. And once that decision is made, nothing and/or no one can change their minds.
Can anyone honestly not relate to these brutally violent adolescents? Tell me that in your youth you never once had a moment of sheer rage or complete depression where the only thing that was seemingly logical was mass destruction or self-mutilation. Possibly even suicide. Now I know the average person refuses to admit openly that they may actually have had these thoughts, because it is considered abnormal. We all know how important it is to be "normal". And yet as you read this, you know it is true. You are actually most likely flashing back to a single moment or sentence that when thought of almost brings back that exact emotion: A mean kid publicly humiliating you, or violently beating you, a teacher who joined the class in laughter at some smart-ass joke. Anything that may be minute to one person seemingly crushed you.
Kids come home repeatedly telling their parents about their day, giving all the hints needed but sadly the bullying in public schools has also become that strange word “normal”. To complain your considered a sissy, or a nag. No one does anything and for years it goes on for some kids it’s worse than others. Now generally we all realize that these terrible thoughts in fleeting moments of anger are exactly that. They are never meant to be anything more. But for some, the breaking point isn’t so far. It is not what happens to everyone, its how some react to it. What is needed to fix this? Well I actually don’t know. I would say a moral understanding of psychology, and the willingness for teachers and parents to step up to the plate.
Problem with that is, these kids are helpless because no one will help them. But so are the teachers and parents when it comes to stopping them. Kids are too smart for their own good when it comes to laws of discipline. They know an adult can only approach the line and if they cross it they can have them arrested. I remember reading a story once about a 14-year-old girl who had her mother arrested for slapping her a crossed the face. The girl was caught doing illegal substances and when confronted had some choice words for her mom. And so she slapped her. The mother was charged with endangering the welfare of a child. (Real nice)
As for the media, that is a completely different topic. I honestly believe (now this is my opinion) that what is aired is literally the dumb-ing down of America. It is all falsified truths. You get fragmented stories, violence, violence, and violence. The government I believe has it preset so that the major media corporations, broadcast things that are discussed in an outline so to speak. Like possibly they gather for a meeting once a month and discuss how to scare the shit out of the country. (They are good at what they do)
Everyone is so afraid of everything. It is all a distraction. They air things like Virginia tech and columbine BECAUSE it is tragic, BECAUSE it is gruesome, it will get ratings, BECAUSE it could be you next. It scares you. Meanwhile they are in Iraq killing our sons and daughters for reasons we will never actually know. Meanwhile the polar ice caps are melting and the environment as we know it is changing in drastic, life threatening ways. Finally meanwhile, our president plays a game of golf somewhere undisclosed to the general public because none of this affects him personally. I could go one for days as could everyone else I am sure. These are topics that have no short supply of opinions beside them. But you all have made some very strong points.
You hit the worst of it in your first sentence. "We've already moved on: is, sadly, true. Such a horrific event must fade. We cannot in our daily lives dwell on it, just as we cannot dwell on 9/11 or the horrors inflicted on thousands of innocents be the likes of Saddam and The Taliban. Our daily lives cannot support a constant awareness that the world is a scary place, where 8 year olds die because gang members cannot shoot straight from moving cars. Carla says in her posting that our president hides from all the tragedy, when in fact its true for all of us. We have to. In moments where I sit and consider the worlds misery I am overwhelmed with a hopelessness. Where do you begin to make a change? At least this president started somewhere. I'm not his biggest fan, but he acted, who knows if his intentions were pure, but the deed had to be done. What have you done, or me for that matter? I am too busy trying to hold my family together in a scary world. We need someone bigger to worry about the distant threat so we can focus on our daily lives. My heart aches for children in Africa, Pakistan, and Indonesia, but I have 6 here who need food and shelter. My husband and I reach out to help our friends and family trying to raise kids alone, we try to make a difference in the lives of our kids friends who are living in a rough environment by giving them a safe place to be, and encouraging their parents toward change (not pushing). it is not self centered, but it is acting locally to the best of our ability. What problems do I solve if I am saving children 2000 miles away and I cannot hear my son when when he is the one sitting in class wishing he had a gun. We can only act locally with any real effectiveness. This doesn't mean we shouild not do all we can to support and pray for those who choose the life of missionary or humanitarian aid, it is admirable to live in that feild every day. But for those of who don't, raising a new generation of healthy adults may be the biggest help to the planet.
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